by Eric Holcombe
I have written previously about the NEA’s Resolutions and my favorite: “B-83 Home Schooling. The National Education Association believes that home schooling programs based on parental choice cannot provide the student with a comprehensive education experience.”
Well, in our ongoing efforts to keep up with the Joneses and make sure our human capital widgets in our home “LEA” aren’t missing out on “socialization” and are receiving a “comprehensive education experience” so they can “compete in the global marketplace”, we had an art assignment in honor of Josh Welch. Turns out it is not that tough to accurately replicate deadly weapons with toaster pastries. Just take a look:
A dead ringer for a Sig Sauer 1911 Desert
Obviously a Kimber Crimson Carry
the sneaky-small Lady Derringer in .22LR
Our human capital widgets then proceeded to threaten each other and the entire instructional staff, yelling “bang – bang”.
We decided in order to remedy the situation, we would employ the default solution and ask our neighbors for money (It’s For The Children!) so we could hire an armed “resource” officer to police our delinquents, but quickly realized we could not find any ammunition to purchase even if we had an officer. So we resorted to the next best thing….a zero-tolerance policy! That makes things go away fast and easy! However, this would have resulted in the expulsion of the entire school system for the year and since they are already home, this wasn’t going to have the intended effect. We quickly dismissed the “blame the parents” approach. The administration and staff then came to the conclusion we are responsible for arming ourselves. The human capital widgets will be placed in in-school suspension and forced to watch Shane: